Decided....the girls and I will be staying in MI until August

We started off this week, week of April 10th, by deciding as a family to go back to Tokyo to finish out the school year. It was the decision we all wanted to make,and hoped to make. On Monday, the 11th, Tokyo experienced what would be the second 7.0 aftershock in a matter of 5 days (one also hit on Thursday, the 7th). They then got hit by a high 6+ aftershock, and what we are told was about 14 aftershocks in 4 hours. Multiple friends said it was a pretty rough day, and that it seemed like it didn't stop shaking. We woke up Tuesday to an email from ASIJ's headmaster, discussing the fact that one of the larger quakes hit right after the bus got to school, and that the kids had to get under their desks and go through the earthquake drill. That morning, we just decided that it was just not a comfortable place for us to be, and we made the difficult decision to have the girls and I stay here in Michigan, and Scott head back to Tokyo alone.

I can't tell you how hard this decision was for us, and how often I have shed tears over it. Our want was to go back to Japan and get back to "normal"- with the girls going to school, Scott working and just us being together as a family. We have made so many good friends in Tokyo, and just have had an unbelievable experience (until the 11th). We have many friends who have gone back to finish out the year (and I feel like we are letting them all down), and probably as many who have decided to either stay away until next school year, or move back immediately and not come back to Japan at all. I just found out that there are four families from our building now leaving in June, only one of which was prior to the quake. One of my best friends is also not returning, Maya's three best friends from school are not returning, Hanna's preschool class has only 7 kids out of 23 back...it has just been heartbreaking and makes me completely sick when I think about it. Every time I get down, I kick myself - I should be grateful- I have my family, my possessions and we are all safe, while many lives were lost that day, and over 150,000 people are without a place to live- either because it has been destroyed by the Tsunami, or because they have been evacuated because of the Nuclear issues. That being said, I feel completely depressed over it. This was not what we signed up for- not any of us. I wonder how safe Tokyo will be in the next year while we are back. I wonder what it will be like next year- just like starting over again, with most of the friends (minus a few) that I did make now not returning. Hanna has been in 4 schools in two years, with a 5th one being added in August, as she goes off to ASIJ with Maya. My girls will take a 45 min bus ride. They say these large aftershocks are going to happen for along time- will I feel any different in August about putting my kids on a school bus and saying goodbye to them, than I do now? I can't imagine Tokyo being the fun loving, easy, exciting city that it has been for us, and for everyone who lives there. People are afraid, foreigners are scarce, and I am not sure that will change by August (though I am hoping it does)....

Scott is now gone for 4.5 months- back to Tokyo, alone. We struggled- all of us, spending 2 months apart last summer. This will be more than double that amount of time. It will be hard on all of us. Right now, we have no idea when we will see him again, which makes it even tougher. I will be worried about him constantly, the girls will miss their dad something awful, and though Scott likes alone time once in awhile, this is going to be so hard on him. We have packed enough stuff (basically clothes) to last only a little time- just what I could pack and take with us alone when we returned to the States (Scott did not come back with us). I have two pair of pants! :) On the up side, I guess I can go out and do some shopping!

The girls and I are in a hotel right now (our 5th one since March 15th- we have only spent five nights total in our beds in Tokyo since March 11). We will be moving into a 2 bedroom apartment but it doesn't become available until next Friday (Good Friday). The girls start school at Maya's old school, Haverhill, this coming Monday. We have no plans for Easter- my family is too far away, and both of Scott's parents will in Florida. Scott will not be with us, as he will still be in Tokyo. I had to go buy Easter baskets today, so we have something to celebrate with. Luckily, both girls are excited right now to be here- it has been good for them to reconnect with some of their friends, and get to see their family on both sides. Two months extra in the States is not the end of the world...right?

I do know and feel very strongly that we will be OK, and that we will be able to get through this (maybe not with our sanity intact, but we will get through it!) I am looking forward to being together again as a family, and hoping and praying that Tokyo is a safe place to go and be come August. I also pray that Scott stays safe, and nothing terrible happens over there. I know this blog has been a bit of a downer. It has been a long month, and is what we are going through right now- emotions and all.